*sigh*

i wanted to say i am doing fine
but i am not ,
but i guess i did a good job trying
to cover up my anxiety , my struggles...

struggling in between things that i think i should do
and things that my heart wanted really badly.

struggling with uncertainty...

i am very much torn.
torn into pieces...

i am so broken and yet trying my best to tell myself
i am really fine.. .

i have not been honest to myself.
im a liar.

no, im not a liar...
im afraid to put this down into words
because i was afraid to articulate,
feeling that i might have get rid of.